A few weeks ago, I reached the age of 64. And of course the obvious song that goes with that milestone is the Beatles hit, ‘Will you still need me, when I’m 64?’ I had heard it first when I was eight years old, when it was released on the Yellow Submarine album in 1967. My older brother had every Beatles album, played them all the time, and fed my own life long love of the group and its music. But only as I turned 64 myself have I gone back to this song, read about it and thought more deeply about some of the truths of this age of life reflected there.

Though attributed officially to the genius songwriting duo of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, the strong consensus is that Paul McCartney actually wrote the song, one of his first ever, when he was only 14 years old. Amazing to think of this 14 year old, looking 50 years into the future, and writing a song about contentment in life with retirement. Yet also with the very human need to be needed and the wonderings associated around that. McCartney of course has not had a quiet retirement, living in the British countryside and watching the ducks on the pond. He is still a global brand, continuing to do concerts having just turned 81 years old.

But while the overall theme of the song is perhaps finding contentment in a mid-60’s season of life, throughout there is the deeper sense of the desire and wondering: will I still be needed, will I have my basic needs provided for, when I am 64? If you haven’t listened to it recently, or to the lyrics, do so. The tune is jaunty, the lyrics written by a 14 year old profound in their simplicity yet contextual precision. One rumor was that John Lennon did not like the song that much, feeling that like some of McCartney’s others, it was too simple, too ‘popular’.

Yet the desire to be needed and wanted is one that can haunt us not only at the age of 64, but at any age. Do people care for us? Will they want to be around us? Will we spend our lives alone? It was funny for me to see the first line of the song, ‘When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now’. For me I started losing my hair when I was only about 22, and it was pretty much gone at least on top by 30. Like losing our hair for some of us, the need to be needed is not age specific. It is one of the most basic desires of life.

So what are a few areas to consider for those of us at 64, but really could be true at any age?

First we need to have a succession plan for any roles we still have. For some of us at 64, there is still plenty of energy and we are able to hold even executive roles or work long hours. But it is never too early to work on making sure that there are clear plans on who will take on our roles after us. This is not only for our own peace of mind, it is perhaps more important for those we lead. That there is not confusion upon our departure. And it is not enough to try and make a plan ourselves, putting the name or names of the successor on a piece of paper under our pillow only to be found after our death. It needs to be done with a group of people, discerned together, and openly communicated in the right time. The more people we lead, the more vitally important that this is not left to chance, or even to ‘God’s will’. Inshallah.

Secondly, at the age of 64, but really any age, it is important to self-examine our own need to be needed. Are we able to let go of position without our identity being shaken or collapsed? As I mentioned, McCartney had a very profound sense of the contentment he longed for at 64, though only 14 when he wrote this song. Do you have this contentment? Not coming from your roles and titles, but from that inner place of peace. I had lunch with a good friend the other day, and he had just turned 60. I mentioned that I was finding my 60’s my favorite decade so far. I don’t have any executive roles any more, have turned them all over, and now focusing on seeing younger leaders strengthened. He confessed to the same desire and involvement in his life. Yes there are times when I wonder if I’m really needed, and have to again examine more deeply my feelings.

Third, as one of my favorite spiritual writers, Father Ronald Rollheiser says, we need to live our lives with ‘the spirit that we have been given’. That is another way to say we need to learn contentment no matter how old we are, no matter what situation we find ourselves in. If you are a person of faith, as I am, it means that your life has been entrusted to you, life is a gift from beyond yourself. If we are 64, we should not be trying to live life in the spirit of a 24 year old. There are beautiful gifts with being 64, just as there are wonderful gifts of being 24. But don’t mix them up. Live the life you are called to, not the one you wish you had.

Finally, back to the song. Paul McCartney wrote this song looking forward 50 years. How could this Liverpool teenager ever have known the global impact and fame he would have? Of course he couldn’t have. Nor do any of us at any age know what is ahead of us, even the next day. We need to live in a place of wonder, of expectancy. Yes, life is a ‘long and winding road’ (one of my favorite Beatle songs), filled with many trials and problems, but it is also an ever unfolding curiosity of grace. What does God have for me, even at 64, in the years and seasons still ahead? There is always so much of life ahead of us, no matter how long the road has been, how windy and storm driven it has been.

So tap your toes, hum it under your breath as the jaunty tune begins: ‘When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now…..’.